Think you are enlightened? Go spend a month with your dad and mum !!
In my healing sessions, I often encounter issues related to the relationship people have with their parents. It seems obvious, as we all have parents and they forged our conditioning since we are born, but I have to admit that it remains a challenge to address these issues.
The respect we should have for our elders is not obvious neither.
In our so-called modern societies, we don’t really show our appreciation for the time, gifts and knowledge inherited from our parents. We easily ostracize them and refuse to confront them, although we do share a big part of our DNA with them.
In the traditional societies where I lived, like in Africa, in India and now in Guatemala, people deal differently with the elders. They usually share the same space or at least still live in the same village. The older generation still work and help for the crops, the children and the transmission of oral knowledge. They have their space.
So why is that most of us don’t spend time with our parents?
I was reflecting on this, and what came to me is that it is sometimes so challenging to interact with the people who raised us. It triggers more reactive patterns and reminds us the pain, the grudges and traumas from the past. It shows us a reflection of how much we didn’t change or of how much we did change.
In Human design, this science of our Human Code, they define what is a trans-auric form. When 3 people or more gather together, they create for a Penta form. The dynamic shifts from personal dynamic to penta-group dynamics. And most of us grew up in families that were a trans-auric form. So when we left our house, we experienced this feeling of freedom, of releasing a burden, of finding ourselves. It took some time of course to adjust to being alone, but every time we gather again with our parents and siblings, we tune again with the Penta trans-auric form. And the dynamic comes back to what it was when we were kid. That is probably one of the reason why we feel awkward sometimes when we come back to the house where we grew up. We feel we came back to our same old patterns despite all the work done to undo them.
Spiritual tradition says that we need to heal ourselves to change the world. I say yes, that’s true, but it feels to me less accurate when we come to Mum and Dad’s stuff.
You can go to many workshops, therapies, retreats, undergo many transformational processes, feel that you cleared these old patterns and still, when you meet again your mother or/and father, you feel that you shifted back to your old self.
Subconsciously, I feel that it is one reason why in the west, many people decided to live far from their parents or birth place. It is easier to evolve and transmute our inherited code when we are far from where we sere conditioned. It is faster. And we all value fast transformation and quick fixes.
In the more traditional societies, families evolve more slowly, but they do it together. I believe one of the reason for this is that they are not looking for Ascension or transcendence (even in India where it is known to be a traditional quest).
In the west or in the American continent, the Christian teachings introduced the concept of Ascending to the Light, but most of the indigenous traditions resonate differently : they seek to remain in the spiritual world of their ancestors. So they are not looking for fast evolution. They are embracing and caring the continuity of their lineages, to keep their collective dream alive, that they can come back when they reincarnate.
To come back to the core of the subject, how can we really transform our patterns with our parents and siblings?
It always starts with awareness. First acknowledging and accepting that we change when we are in their presence. Becoming fully aware that our code is reacting, our DNA is reacting and our Kundalini as well.
By not judging it, and by choosing consciously a new strategy, more in resonance with who we are when we are far, we can already change the game.
I believe that to express yourself, and request a focus on these patterns from everyone is a must. You cannot do it alone. It has to be a family effort. The crystallized thought forms you hold in your consciousness are as well most present in your family’s consciousness.
So to ask each other to bring the spotlight in the moments that someone reacts will help, if it is done with compassion and the true desire to transform the dynamic.
A complementary way is to tune at Oversoul level. Each family has an oversoul, the group intelligence of all its members. To relate to the oversoul will help you to understand how you can all evolve together, respecting each person’s processes and pace.
So the next time you go to see your family, try this : connect to you Spirit. Connect to the Spirit of each member of your family and connect to the Spirit of the oversoul of your family or clan. Ask Source to allow harmonious dynamics and interactions at Spirit Level. You will see, it changes something. It makes sharp edges smooth. It makes everything flows more gently.
Of course, if there are unresolved traumas or conflicts in your family, it won’t make it disappear like magic. This requires more time, more inner work and more compassion. But it will bring each person to the right situation to allow healing and evolution.
The Soul and Spirit contracts we share with our families are so deep and so anchored. We all chose each other, that you like it or not. And we have to learn from each other, to release the agreements or to find peace.
Therefore, the next time you think that you made it, that you are doing it all well, go visit your parents, and check it out : are you that enlightened?